"I don't want to create a persona; I just want to be my true self."

My name is Liang Qihao. I am 16 years old this year, born in Guangzhou, and currently studying at Guangzhou Mechanical and Electrical Technician College.

I suffer from a condition called allergic dermatitis (Type R), which often leads to arthritic allergies. It causes itching and ulceration. When severe, it can spread, bleed, and become infected. Throughout my life, I have undergone countless treatments, but almost none of them have been effective. There was only one that could be considered somewhat effective. However, that was more of a suggestion rather than a treatment. A traditional Chinese medicine practitioner diagnosed that my condition would only improve with enhanced immunity. He told me that as I grow older, it would naturally get better. But if it doesn’t improve by the age of 14, then it will be a lifelong issue.

This has made me feel inferior since elementary school. At that time, many female classmates were immature in their thinking. They thought I was different from them. Because of the ulcers on my body, they found it unattractive and were unwilling to sit or play with me. As for the boys, their minds were even more immature, and they naturally didn’t want to play with me. They isolated me. People without similar experiences probably can’t understand: in a class where no one wants to talk or play with you, and when you try to talk to others, they ignore you, you can only stay at your seat during breaks.

However, as they matured psychologically, they began to realize their mistakes. Some people felt that their actions were wrong, and their prejudice against me gradually decreased. For example, a female classmate who was once forcibly arranged by the teacher to be my deskmate was unwilling to play with me. So she bullied and teased me, but I fought back and had a fight with her. Although our relationship was very strained for a while afterward, by the fifth and sixth grades, it gradually improved. She realized her mistake and no longer looked at me with discriminatory eyes.

I don’t care much about the discrimination from my classmates. What really upsets me is the discrimination from teachers. In every school, there are some teachers with particularly bad behavior and no professional ethics, such as our music teacher. I think he is a very disgusting person. He swears every day and scolds people in Cantonese. When I was in elementary school and had ulcers in my mouth, he would curse me in Cantonese for having a rotten mouth. This incident left a deep impression on me, and he never treated me well. Because of this, I also tried to resist. At graduation, I directly scolded him, saying that he was not qualified to be a teacher. He caused me a lot of harm, and I can still remember his name and appearance now. He is indeed an unworthy person and does not deserve to be a teacher.

I also didn’t receive much gentle treatment from teachers, so my elementary school life was quite depressing and dark. But in the end, I let it go, and that’s good.

When I entered junior high school, I didn’t want to create a persona; I just wanted to be sincere and show my true self. The experiences in the first two years of junior high school deepened my inferiority complex, but it was gone by the last year because I changed personally. The inferiority mainly stemmed from becoming a teenager, as teenagers tend to have vanity and a competitive mindset. Plus, with scars on my body, I felt even more inferior.

Actually, I have shared these experiences with others, as there’s no need to hide such things. My parents couldn’t offer much support, just some guidance. But we all know that this kind of thing depends on the individual. It has to come from within oneself!

- Liang Qihao

Guangzhou, China

邓易洋｜Content curator

Ruihan｜Editor

戴盈盈｜Translator