I have never been so eager for an anonymous tree hole

I’m currently in my second year of high school, and the academic pressure is overwhelming, especially since my academic ranking hasn’t met my expectations. I’ve noticed that even when I put in effort, I don’t see progress, which has made me increasingly lose confidence. Additionally, I struggle with interpersonal relationships. I feel like I don’t share common topics with my classmates, and social interactions often feel awkward, leaving me lonely. All of this has plunged me into confusion and anxiety.

Every time I go to school, I feel like I’m facing countless challenges I can’t handle, and it’s mentally exhausting. Because of this, I’ve chosen to take a leave of absence and stay home, where I feel slightly more at ease. Admittedly, this is a form of escape—a way to avoid confronting these pressures.

At school, I don’t have any close friends. Having just one companion to eat lunch with daily would be enough for me. Maybe it’s because I’m not very outgoing; I feel out of sync with my peers. I envy those who are good at making friends, can chat effortlessly with them, and naturally draw attention in groups. Sometimes, it seems like everyone else has their own social circles, while I exhaust myself trying to figure out how to fit in. Over time, I’ve stopped trying. If I were to return to school now, things would likely stay the same. I still lack the courage to step out of my "comfort zone," afraid that trying too hard might backfire.

I’ve tried talking to my family about my struggles, but they always tell me not to care so much about grades and to "just work harder." They probably don’t fully understand my inner turmoil, which only deepens my loneliness. I’ve also spoken to my teacher, who advised me not to overthink things, but her suggestions haven’t helped. I’ve even sought advice elsewhere, like tips shared by bloggers on Xiaohongshu (Little Red Book), many of whom emphasize focusing on self-improvement. Some of the advice is good, but when it comes to putting it into practice, I feel powerless.

I wish my family could understand me more deeply. I wish that they wouldn’t just tell me not to worry, but genuinely empathize with my feelings and give me more space and support. As for school, I wish there were an anonymous emotional outlet, like a "venting tree hole," where I could share my thoughts. Speaking my mind would really help ease my emotions.

- Anonymous

Melody Shen｜Content curator

Rebecca｜Editor

孙逸铭｜Translator