“I am a stay-at-home mother”

I am a stay-at-home mother in Suzhou. My husband is an executive in a state-owned enterprise, and I have two daughters, the elder one is a senior in high school, and the younger one is a junior in high school. I spent most of my life with my family. Taking care of my family's daily life and tutoring my children's studies make up the bulk of my life.

When I first graduated, I began to work as a translator in a foreign garment company. I continued to work after the birth of my eldest daughter in 2007, and my parents helped me with the child. However, after the birth of my second child in 2012, I resigned as I felt that the pressure on my parents was too great, and I also wanted to physically recover. In addition, my parents' generation inevitably spoiled their children, and I didn’t want both of my children to be spoiled as well. So I decided to educate my children myself. My husband's income was enough to support the family, so I focused on being a stay-at-home mom. I am quite satisfied with my child's education. Sometimes I feel like the children are my "career", and I will feel that I have worked hard to cultivate the child to see the results, proving that I am not so easy and that I have put in the effort.

My life as a stay-at-home mom is probably pretty easy compared to that of someone else who has to go to work every day. Elders also say that I live a good life; they think I am blessed because my husband can make money, and I can enjoy being at home. However, I don't quite agree with them. I don't think it's that easy being a stay-at-home mom. In our family, there is a division of labor: my husband is responsible for financially supporting the family, while I am responsible for taking care of everyone, and, in that way, the family is supported by both of us. I still have regrets for giving up my career, and sometimes I feel a little frustrated when I see my peers in the circle of friends succeed in their careers. I did well in school, but now I don't have a career at my age. In fact, I later tried to return to work but met a lot of obstacles. After both my daughters started school, I was re-employed as a translator in a foreign trade company. After a few months, I quit and returned to the family, because, at that time, my age and the workplace were no longer matching, and it was difficult for me to keep up with the competition. First of all, my colleagues were all fresh graduates, while I had a family and children to take care of. I don't have enough time, energy, and drive. Secondly, the 9-to-5 life makes me unable to take care of my family and children well. I have to bother my parents to cook, do housework, pick up the children during the day, and help the children with homework at night. I also have friends who are in the same situation as me or are mothers of my children's classmates, and they can relate to me a lot psychologically.

- Anonymous

Suzhou, China

徐睿兮｜Content curator

Rosabel｜Editor

Hellen｜Translator